Why am I so Emotional? And What to do about it.

Some Reasons You’re Emotional:

1. Mental Health Issues
2. Lack of Sleep
3. Stress
4. Life Changes
5. Grief
6. Trauma
7. Your needs aren’t being met
8. Physical Health issues
9. Lack of coping skills

Many people come to me asking “Why am I so emotional?”.  At times they mean that their emotions are up and down suddenly, and they don’t understand the swings.

At other times they find that they are feeling things they have not felt before. Most people don’t understand emotions, their language and how to manage them effectively.

There are common mis-conceptions about emotions and many are judged as bad things that must be “controlled.” I have good news and bad news. The good news is that you have a great deal of influence on how you may feel. The bad news is you are not in control of the part of your brain the elicits emotional responses. Truly understanding emotions is a pathway to much greater possibility of satisfaction, contentment and feeling at ease.

How Emotions are Made:

(The simple version)

1. Your body and brain (aka your nervous system) are like an antenna that takes in every single piece of information (stimuli) in your interior world and exterior world.

2. This information is sent directly into a primitive part of your brain that generates your emotional response in a fraction of a second.

3. Your body sends out the signals for the emotions and neurochemicals and hormones flood your system and your body is physiologically shifted into an emotional state.

4. After all this your conscious brain (pre-frontal cortex), the rational part can register it. “I feel angry”.

See how we can’t have control of this?

This is where the influence comes in. Neuroscience is teaching us how much we can step in and influence what happens in the brain both before, during and after the signals go off.

Managing Emotions for the Long Haul

Some steps you can take to help you get off the roller coaster:

1. Sleep-get 8 hours (at least!) of solid sleep. Sleep research shows us that this is the minimum that our brains need to function optimally. (Bad news for those of you who don’t believe it-it’s true and you and your emotions are better off with more sleep)

2. Movement and Exercise-Moving helps to regulate your mood and help you think more clearly

3. Get your vitamins and minerals! -Having essential nutrients in your system help your brain to properly regulate your mood. You know, it’s the same advice you’ve always heard eat some nutritious things, reduce eating things that don’t provide you with nutrition.

4. Pay attention to what makes you feel overwhelmed more sensitive and if you’re able to reduce that activity. For example, if you notice that you’ve been overwhelmed by crowds lately-time things, so you don’t have to be in a crowded place. (many more people are having this issue in the last two years for some reason…)

5. Can you reduce your “should” activities and spend more time doing the want to activities? Many people overschedule their time and increase their stress with things that are optional. Is it time to re-evaluate?

Managing Emotions after you’re feeling them:

1. Move your body! don’t just sit there and think about how to solve-this usually makes it worse. Emotions are in your body not just in your thoughts. There is no thought that is going to make the anxiety move through your body the way it needs to.

2. Focus on breathing out-this relaxes your nervous system. Breathing in activates your anxiety system-so breathe out for twice as long.

3. Orient-focus your attention on your surroundings and name all the things that you notice with your senses-sights, smells, sounds, sights, sensations. This helps to regulate your emotions by brining your mind into the present. It’s also called mindfulness.

4. Talk to someone about. Expressing how you’re feeling to someone that is a good listener is extremely helpful. When we’re in the presence of someone we trust our nervous systems regulate more rapidly.

5. Notice and name-identifying how you are feeling helps to slow down the thoughts that may build the emotions and make them more unmanageable.

There are many things that can help you understand why you are feeling emotional. There is an abundance of skills you can learn to help accept, regulate, and manage emotions effectively. Most people didn’t learn essential skills to navigate their emotions and many people become overwhelmed by them when life gets hard. A holistic approach can support you in managing emotions better. A skilled therapist can help you learn how to work with how you’re feeling and manage any underlying mental health issues that may contribute to your challenges.